What's "My Father Up Above's" Name?

This is a long story, but the pay off is GOLD.

My conversation with Harley started off with her singing a church song. She was singing "be careful little eyes what you see, for the Father up above is looking down below...".

She asked me what her Father up above's name was. I said God is your Father up above.

"So my Father's name is God?"
"Your Father in heaven IS God."
"My Father is God? What about Daddy?"
I explained a little more.

Since my Granddad passed away last summer Harley has been keeping his memory alive by having conversations with him, claiming he showed her how to do something, etc. She refers to him as her 'grandfather'.

So immediately after the God is your father conversation she asks what her Grandfather's name was.

I said "Bob".
"Bob is a name?"
"yes, it's pretty common."
"My Grandfather's name is Bob." "Do they name sheep Bob?"
"I'm sure someone has named a sheep Bob."
"Baaab" "Baaab" "Baaab the sheep"

I had to stop and lean on a wall to keep from falling over laughing.

Gold.

Vanessa the Artist - Part Deux

Vanessa brought this picture home from school. She made it in art class. I asked what it was. Her answer: "a masterpiece"

PICTURE WITH SANTA

This is the REAL Santa too!

BAD MAMA pt. 2

I am not one to spread things out and make them last longer. I am a 'DO IT ALL, DO IT NOW' kinda gal.

Why draw out the damage I do to my children when I can do it all in one day? I'm efficient if anything.

I started out being a good mama on Sunday. I took the girls to see Santa and get their picture with him. Yes, it's only the beginning of November but Santa is busy and has lots to do. Hush.

When we got home we were all getting out of the van and I shut the door on Vanessa's fingers! The door actually closed and locked. She screamed for me to open the door, I'm freaking out trying to get the door open as fast as possible. I got the door open, did a preliminary check of her fingers and we moved quickly inside. She is crying the whole time saying "I don't want to go to heaven! I don't want to go to heaven!" I try to calm her down and explain she will die from this, it's going to be okay. She didn't break any fingers. We got ice on them and I gave her Tylenol for pain. Through tears she says, "You should have been paying attention!". She was absolutely right. It broke my heart.

A few hours later, she was feeling much better. Her fingers weren't as bruised as I thought they might be, not even very swollen. That was good. She and Harley were in the playroom watching cartoons. They were playing rough and Harley hit/bumped/whatever Vanessa in the stomach. I brought them both out to explain that it was very dangerous to hit someone in the stomach. Harley, being 4, and being Harley, started repeating the same word over and over loudly and wasn't listening to me. I told her to go to her room. She wouldn't. I gave her swat and she went to her room.

Several minutes later, Harley comes down stairs with her backpack loaded up. She tells me she is leaving. I don't need her anymore, so she is going to leave. My heart broke again. I told her that I do too need her. Just because she got in trouble doesn't mean I don't love her or need her. She was insistent though. She had packed a change of underwear, a t-shirt, some toys. Then she went to the kitchen and got a pudding cup and a spoon, fork and butter knife. I reminded her it was dark out. She said she was going to "Mr. Ravioli's house." I asked who she was talking about. Our neighbor across the street is Raphael. She was going to his house but called him Mr. Ravioli instead of Mr. Raphael. I wonder why she thought he and his wife needed her and I didn't?

I called Tony at work and told him she was leaving and told her to tell her daddy good-bye. He suggested she sleep on it and we'd talk about it in the morning. She agreed. She slept with me last night.

This morning, she gave me a hug and said she would never leave me and she was wrong last night.

What a day.

GRADUATION

In September my brother graduated from Mortuary School in Cincinnati. It's taken me a while to post the pictures, but here they are:

Our dad and Scott

Scott, Vanessa and Harley

Harley in the windowMe and the girls trying to pose for a picture. I love Harley's expression!

Scott and Adrienne

Show the love!

HALLOWEEN 2008

THIS YEAR THE GIRLS WENT AS THE JUSTICE LEAGUE.

WE HAVE MARTIAN MANHUNTER, HAWKGIRL, WONDER WOMAN:

OUR NEPHEW, TYLER, WENT AS SPIDER-MAN.

Trick or Treating in Groveport is really nice. The people go all out to decorate. The funeral home gives out big candy bars, and the firemen give out hot dogs, popcorn and punch.

It's only wrong to shake a baby, right. Not a 4 yr old?

Oh that Harley. She is going to be the one that causes my hair to turn gray. Or fall out. Or both.

I got home from work yesterday a little later than usual. I got dinner in the oven, told the girls to go pick up their Polly Pockets, and started cleaning the living room. Adrienne was fussing so I decided to sit down for a minute and watch Ellen (I DVR her show...).

I see a police car pull up in front of our house. I assumed they were going to our neighbors house as usual (long story). Instead, the officer walks across our yard and up to our front door. I answered and he said that he was responding to a 911 call from this address. I asked him if he was sure, was it #3918? He said yes. I was a little confused. I said it must be a mistake. He asked if I was okay, he said I seemed a little nervous. I explained that I was just fine but was wondering if one of my other 2 young girls called.

I called Vanessa and Harley down. I asked them if one of the called. Originally they both denied calling. Finally Harley fessed up. The officer talked to her (very nicely). He asked her if she knew when to call 911, she gave him the right answer. He asked why she called. She didn't know. He told her that if you call and nothing is wrong it will keep him from helping others. He told her never to lie to her mom.

She was a little scared.

Good.

Boy, you just never know what to expect at my house!

TODAY I AM..........

ELLEN DEGENERES!!!!

RANDOM THINGS

* We got Harley's school pictures back. I saw the 8x10 picture first. It looked great. She took a good picture. Then I looked at the others. There is a section of her hair on top that looks like a tornado has formed! Only Harley...

* We went to my good friend Lisa's house on Saturday for a Tupperware party. She has 2 boys. Trevor is almost 10 and Travis is 5. They don't get to see each other often. As we all know, kids are not always good with names. Or even gender. Travis was going to offer candy to Vanessa and Harley. Lisa told him he had to ask me first. Travis comes over and asks, "Um, can your thinga-ma-jiggs have some chocolate?" Thinga-ma-jiggs. How hilarious is THAT! So I told him my thinga-ma-jiggs could have some chocolate.

* Our neighbors foster children. When we got home from church yesterday they were also getting home from church. They had 2 new boys with them. We went inside and did the usual change, get lunch, etc. The girls noticed that the boys would run into our backyard at times. I told the girls it was fine and not to worry about it. Harley came and told me they were playing with a ball and they had gloves "or something" on their hands. I explained they were playing catch and it was okay. They were also hitting the ball. I found that out when the ball hit the side of the house and scared me half to death. Luckily they missed the wall of windows in the back! I wasn't very happy about the ball hitting the house. I was feeling a little tired and cranky yesterday. Unbeknownst to me the girls were in the playroom (it is at the back of the house and has windows facing our backyard) under the curtains and were talking to the boys. They even told the boys I was getting mad at them! Ugh.... The boys apologized over and over. I feel like a heel though!

BAD MAMA

Yesterday when I got home from work I was on a mission. I had to get the blender I bought and return it. Harley wanted to go with me so I said 'ok' and we ran out the door.

Next to the long line at the Service desk at Kmart was a woman selling picture packages for Olan Mills. She started talking to Harley. Harley told her all about dancing, her baby sister at home, her big sister Vanessa who had to come home from school because she had a fever but feels okay now. You know how 4 yr olds can go on and on and on.

We get up to the desk finally. I just happened to look down at Harley and her face is DIRTY. Apparently she had been eating ravioli shortly before I came home.

I was so embarrassed!

BRAGGING

Adrienne is only 8 months old and knows how to work the See-N-Say!

Pumpkin Show 2008

Another Pumpkin Show has come to an end. I absolutely love Pumpkin Show. My feet are liking it less and less each year though.

This year's biggest pumpkin was 1375.5 lbs. This is the girls in front of the 2 biggest.

Upon seeing me take a picture of Vanessa and Harley, Adrienne looked up at me as if to say "hey, why aren't you taking MY picture?" So here she is...

Here is Vanessa, Harley and Adrienne watching a drum corp concert.
Here is Tony with Adrienne and Olivia. Olivia is 2 months younger than Mo. She is the daughter of our oldest niece.
Here is a view from the big ferris wheel. I don't think the 3 of us (Vanessa, Harley and me) will be able to ride in the same carriage next year.

Here are Vanessa and Harley on the kiddie ferris wheel. Just before this picture some little boy snatched Harley's tickets. My brother grabbed him and got them back.

This year was hard because the girls are getting too big for the kiddie rides but are not yet big enough for the big rides. They want to ride them but I would have to ride with them. We have rode the big Viking Boat. They wanted to ride the Round Up. I never liked that ride so I'm dodging it. They wanted to ride what I call the 'Star'. It has enclosed cages, it goes around and around and you control whether it goes upside-down or not. Or at least that's what is supposed to happen. It was my favorite ride when I was growing up. Since the girls were tall enough I decided I would take them, one at a time, on the ride. I wasn't going to go upside down with them, I figured it would be too much. Vanessa was first to go with me. I wanted the bar to be as far down as possible for her safety. It was against my leg and stomach but not so tight I couldn't move. The ride starts off. She's okay with it. I was able to keep it from going upside down. It was a completely different story once they got all of the people on and it started going around fast. It went upside down, Vanessa freaked out, which made me freak out. It's a lot harder to control than you think. When I was a kid, I wanted to it go upside. My friend Kathy and I used to hold the lever so we be upside down on top and right-side up on the bottom of the ride. That didn't work with Vanessa. I yelled at the operator to stop. I yelled 4 times around. He got mad, stopped the ride and made everyone get off. What a nice guy! Vanessa has now sworn off the Star ride and most other big rides. I didn't take Harley on the ride. I was in a lot of pain. See, the bar was apparently TOO close to my legs and belly. I now have ENORMOUS, purple and black, bruises on my upper legs and across my belly. It looks like I was in a bad car accident. I have never had bruises hurt so much. I can barely have material touch my legs. To wrap things up, Mama ain't riding no more rides!

Only 367 days til the next Pumpkin Show!!

HARLEY'S SONG

The girls were making up songs last night. A lot of them made no sense at all. Some were cute. One in particular was very concerning. I give you 3 lines from one of Harley's songs:

"If you love ho's,

If you love 'em ho's...

If you love me ho's..."

.

.

.

Naturally I asked her to repeat it. Several times. Finally she said, "hose, you know what we fill our pool with?"

.

.

.

whew.

SPREAD 'EM!!!!!

I DON'T RECOMMEND THIS

Last night Vanessa's school had a skating party. I had not planned on letting her go. I wasn't saying a word about it. Unfortunately the school felt the need to announce it yesterday and even give them STICKERS. So guess where we went last night.

The reasons I had for not going were exactly the reasons that made the exercusion very hard. It can be summed up in 4 words. I AM ONE WOMAN.

It is simply impossible for me have a 7-month old and help 2 kids who have never even put on skates. But all of Vanessa's friends were going to be there and she really wanted to go. So here is the story:

We get to the rink and it's not overly crowded. Still we had to wait in line to get in. Once inside the music is much louder than I remember. So we walk all the way to the back where the skate rental is. The girls get their skates, we walk to a carpet covered spool (apparently some things never change....) and they put the skates on. At this point I realize that Adrienne has a stinky diaper. The bathrooms are at the opposite side of the building. Of course. The lockers required 50 cents and I had no change. Of course. So we all make our way across the building to the bathroom so that I can change Adrienne. It seemed like it took 1/2 an hour! After the diaper is changed, I prop Vanessa and Harley up on the wall and I go over to the concession counter to get change for a dollar. We make our way back to the lockers and get everything put away.

Now, Vanessa has very high expectations for herself. She thought once the training wheels were off her bike she could just take off with no problem. She thought the same about roller skating. She should be able to skate like the big kids. It's very frustrating for her and she gets upset easily. I tried to explain that it doesn't happen like that, it takes practice. You can't put on skates for the very first time and expect to skate like a pro. I doubt she even heard me. Though I was really hoping one of the girls were a natural at it...

I put Adrienne in the baby carrier on my chest and we finally make it out onto the rink. The slick rink. Vanessa doesn't want to hold my hand. She wants to get in the middle of the older kids who are skating at 60 mph. Harley, she is much more reasonable. She doesn't want me to let go of her. Poor girl. Consequently you could see where I was holding her upper arm. The red mark is gone now, but I was worried someone would think I was abusing her!

We made it ONCE around the rink. It took an hour I think. I was sweating like I was on trial for murder and they found the weapon in my hand!

Then the skating rink had the nerve to bring out SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!! Oh, for the love of my sanity, WHY? Now Vanessa is upset because she can't get to him. She wants to go give him a hug. He walked near us twice but didn't hear the girls yell (how could you with the music so freakin' loud?! - if the music is too loud, you're too old. I'm too old). Again, Harley was much more logical about all this. She knew she couldn't skate to him and was resigned to just letting it go. God Bless her!! Vanessa was so upset I finally had to tell her that it wasn't really Spongebob, it was a guy in a costume. That didn't do much to appease her.

After what seemed like an eternity the girls decided they would take off their skates and play some games. The selection was bad and they only played 2 games each. Finally I said I would buy them some candy at the concession stand. Everyone was happy with this suggestion.

What they should sell at the concession stand is Ben Gay and Advil for the parents!!

My shoulders are killing me this morning!!

I don't really have pictures. Like I said, I am one woman. I will add the 2 pictures I took later.

I'm helping fold clothes...

The picture isn't the greatest, but it caught a really funny moment.

FALL

I picked Vanessa up from school on Monday. Here is our conversation:

Vanessa: Can we go outside and watch the leaves turn color?

Me: Ummmmmm, it doesn't really happen that way. It takes a few weeks for the leaves to actually turn.

Vanessa: But today is fall.

Me: I know. It takes time for the leaves to turn color though. It doesn't happen all at once.

She didn't seem completely convinced. She probably thought I just didn't want to go out and play. Evidence: our conversation later that afternoon.

Vanessa: Well if we can't go out and watch the leaves turn color, can we go out and watch them fall off the trees tonight?

Me: It doesn't work that way. They don't fall off at once.

Vanessa: But today is FALL.

Me: I know...........but it takes weeks and even a month or so before all the leaves fall off.

Vanessa rolled her eyes.

How cool would it be though if they all did just fall of the trees on the first day of fall? God flips the switch on Sept. 20-something and POOF! all the leaves pop off the trees at once. Or he turns the knob and the colors change from green to orange like a light dimmer.

Introducing...............

Fizz Douglas Woods

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL 2008

Harley's "first" day of preschool. They stagger the entrance to make it easier on the teachers. They say it's to make it easier on the kids, but we all know the truth!

Vanessa on her first day of Kindergarten. Her school requires uniforms. Boy is it easy to lay out clothes for the next day!
Harley and Vanessa on the first official day of school.

P.S. Yes, I know I need to weed-eat and our lawn was brown. It's hard finding time to weed-eat and I refuse to waste water on the grass. So there!

Adrienne Taking A Bath

This is Adrienne taking her first bath in the big tub:

She no likey.

Labor Day Cookout

Harley enjoying Doritos

Pam, Meghan and Adrienne Meghan giving Jacob, Vanessa and Harley a ride

My Little Girl Became A "Woman"

We were all home yesterday. I do not even remember what we were discussing. Vanessa informed us that she already knew what we were trying to tell her. She said, and I quote: "I know everything."

Tony marked the time when she offiicially became a "woman".

Tony slept on the couch last night.

ANTM

I think we watch too much of America's Next Top Model........



Example: I give you Harley's "couture" pose:

Of course, Tyra would say she needs to 'smile with her eyes' more and 'you can still do ugly with a pretty face'. hahahahaha

PRAISE THE LORD, FOR HE IS SO GOOD TO ME!

Sweet Corn Festival

Ummmmmmm, corn on the cob..........delicious...........


Anyway, the girls rode a bunch of rides. They got to ride the swings for the first time.

Harley:
Vanessa:
Train Wreck. Vanessa didn't want to ride this boring ride. So she sat behind Harley so she could pout the entire time. The operator put some boy in the seat with Harley and she was NOT happy about that. A boy, ICK!
Jacob came this year. Harley is shielding his face from the sun.

BALLET BEGINS

Ballet began again on Saturday. This is Vanessa's second year and Harley's first year.

For some reason, getting anyone to LOOK at the camera is an impossibility.

ROCK STAR